Tuesday, April 22, 2008

En vino veritas

I am not going to tell the full story of what befell us on Saturday night, as the story itself isn’t really mine for the telling. My role was peripheral, and as such, my coverage of the events shall be as well.

My friends had decided to spend another evening out at the rock club Zeppelin; however, as we’d been there the night before, and as I was feeling decidedly head-coldy following my walk-n-ride, I decided to stay home. After a couple of hours sobbing my way through Battlestar Galactica reruns (in preparation for my attempt to acquire parts of season 4), followed by a few minutes of escapist mystery reading, the power went out. No surprise there; it’s been going out every evening around midnight. I figured that was a sign that I should go to bed. Not five minutes later, a loud ruckus from the courtyard convinced me that perhaps I should be out and about.

Let’s just say that a former Kyrgyz friend of ours had imbibed way too much, causing him to turn into an angry, belligerent monster. And monsters have a tendency to attack. Four of us ended up holed up in Katy’s room, recovering while the fiend rampaged. Eventually said fiend passed out in the backseat of his car. Extra points go to Ben Jr for excellent sneaking skills, even if he was lacking in locating-passed-out-monsters-in-cars skills, and for use of the word ‘jumpers’ in a tight spot. The night could have been disastrous. As it was, it was thoroughly unnerving and distressing, but we managed to find humor in a lot of it.

We continued to find humor in the morning, when we discovered that not only was the monster still hanging about, but he and our alleged night guard (who had done next to nothing to assist us the night before) were drinking Devyatki (a super strong beer) at 10am. Thanks a lot, guard. Way to do your job. By noon the two of them were completely hammered, and lurking at the café across the street, waiting for a certain member of our party to emerge. (In fact, when two of our group tried to leave, they ended up essentially chased into my apartment by ye olde monster. My apologies to them for the fact that I had not yet cleaned the litter boxes at that point. My apartment was a bit stinky.)

The four of us decided that we did not wish to be trapped inside all day. Unfortunately, there is only one entrance/exit to the school’s “compound” – and the monster and his drinking buddy were waiting in direct view of it. So, we decided to get a bit creative, and snuck out over the back wall.
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After achieving our freedom, we bought a two-liter of tan and some plastic cups and headed to a nearby park to enjoy freedom and the company of the sane and sober. We’re also thinking about taking some sort of self defense class.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

No class needed. I highly recommend either swiftly kicking and/or grabbing and twisting the nards. Problem solved, with the bonus of lowering the odds of said Monster's procreation. Repeat as necessary.

Gwen said...

So how'd you get back in?

Anonymous said...

You should talk to the school about firing that security guard, too.

Diana said...

Wow... I can always count on your blog for harrowing tales of escape and adventure...

Um... glad you're ok. Please don't go out alone...

annie said...

Well, when we decided to go back to the sachool, I went first, as I was not the person the crazy drunk man was after. Luckily, he had driven away (!) by the time I got there. I sent a text message to the others telling them that the coast was clear....

Brooke said...

Be safe, Jane. *hug*