Ahh, the Hermit Manifesto. Where to begin? Let's begin with my previous job. Because of the nature of that job, even now, as an ex-employee, I'm not going to go into detail about what I did. I left that job because I disliked it intensely. Why? Well, the work was highly repetitive, and essentially simple. I often remarked that a group of blind monkeys could have done what I did. Unfortunately, while I am striving to simplify my life, my previous job was not, in fact, all that simple. In fact, it was an incredibly high-stress job. I had tension headaches all the time, and spent a fortune on ThermaCare heat wraps for my tense neck and shoulders. I kept a bottle of Pepto-Bismol in the drink holder of my work car at all times. I would swill directly from said bottle several times per day. I held this job for twenty-seven months, during which time I developed my first wrinkles and my first ulcer. Of course, this job did have its pros... Like I said, a blind monkey could have done it. He might develop a stress ulcer, but he could definitely do it. Additionally, the job paid well, and was on a set promotion-schedule (the longer you worked there, the more money you made), and I had health insurance and paid sick and vacation days. Those are some good pros, but...
One of my coworkers had worked at that job long enough to retire. He hated it; he was miserable. The month he retired, he was diagnosed with terminal cancer.
Several of my coworkers were eligible to retire, yet they kept working. It certainly wasn't because they loved the job; they bitched about it constantly. Why didn't they retire? Because the longer they worked, the greater their retirement package would be. Before I left, there were two heart attacks and one stroke (none of them fatal) among my coworkers in that category... and yet they were all still working there when I left.
I left because I didn’t like what I did. The job was not personally satisfying in any way, and it was taking a high toll on me physically and mentally. I left that job to accept my current position as an ESL teacher in Russia, where I receive a salary of roughly $200/mo, and I have not regretted my decision.
Why did I decide to come to Russia? Well, I double-majored in Russian and Political Science in college, during which time I spent nine (non-consecutive) months in Russia, and I loved every minute of my time there. I had accepted my previous job, thinking it was the sort of position that someone with a PolySci degree should accept, although while there, I felt as though I was wasting my education, as I rarely put any facet of my degree to use. Additionally, I often felt as though my job was useless; every day I was simply wasting time. I thought that perhaps if I got a job with a non-profit organization, one that works to facilitate international relations between the US and Russia (and there are several), I would feel satisfaction from my work. I would also be using my degree and accomplishing something.
But, there was a flaw in that plan. I graduated from college in 2001. Following graduation, I spent six months in South Korea, two months in Costa Rica, and twenty-seven months within walking distance of Mexico. My Russian skills had degenerated into something that I termed, "spanglorusskikonglish" - not really something to put on my resume. I decided that spending a year in Russia, teaching English and studying Russian, would rebuild my skills, and would look great on my resume. I had it all planned out: a year in Russia, and then I could apply for a job. I even had a specific employer in mind.
Then fate intervened. Some personal things happened to me this fall, which led me to reevaluate the course my life was taking. I'm not going to get into that here - it's personal. I only bring that up to let you know that this fall I stepped back and looked at what I was doing with my life. I realized that I was in danger of making the same mistakes which landed me in my previous job.
Like I mentioned above, my last job was the sort of job that a college grad with a high GPA and a PolySci major is expected to land. And here I was trying to follow the expected path of a Russian major. While in theory, working for a non-profit that works in and/or with Russia sounds appealing, when I began to examine my job prospects, reality was quite a turn-off:
Assist in conducting research on price and quality comparison for necessary office supplies/equipment. Responsible for inventory of office supplies/equipment and ordering. Responsible for receiving and shipping mail for staff. Organize archives, media hits, vendor files and Staff Meeting Minutes. Update and maintain contact database for mailing. Assemble material for volunteer information and general inquires for mailings. Ensure cleanliness of office areas for visitors. Communicate with vendors for troubleshooting and service orders. Answer reception phone line during business hours. Handle referrals to appropriate staff members and questions from public. Assist Executive Director with administrative tasks. Prepare mailings for staff and distribute mail. Assist in researching items for program development. Assemble presentation materials for special events. Provide assistance in special projects. Update and maintain handouts for social services department, legal program and the reception areas. Responsible for paying monthly bills and vendors on a timely basis including mailing of payments. Ensure signature on checks. Track and reconcile credit card statements and time & attendance. Organize check requests, bank statements and deposits for Bookkeeper. Attend and record minutes for Staff Meetings. Ensure cleanliness of conference room. Provide refreshments for Board Meetings. Assist in preparing Board Packet mailings. Assist with staff and Board member accommodations. Assist with organizational events. Organize state and national organizations information, maintain equipment inventory in the Equipment Inventory Log. Coordinate / schedule technology visits. Maintain administrative office files. Other duties as identified and assigned.
Ahh, the job opportunities for someone with a BA in Russian. Not so appealing. Would I really feel as though I were accomplishing anything if those were my duties? True, not all job descriptions sounded that bad, but none of them made me feel as though I had found the niche that I was looking to fill. Not to mention that nearly all such positions are in some of the most expensive cities in the country, yet pay very little. (Now, I am not all that interested in making tons of money - as I explain further along in this manifesto - but I don't want to run into debt either. I lived like a pauper in San Diego so I could pay off all my debts, and I'd like to remain debt-free as long as possible. But we'll talk more about money in a minute.) Of course the opportunities are slightly broader for someone with a Masters or a Doctorate, and as such, I briefly and seriously considered grad school. But (and I mean no offense to the many of my good friends currently in grad school) the more grad school stories I heard from my friends, the less excited I became by the prospect of an advanced degree. Honestly, so much of grad school sounds like utter bullshit to me. For example, I know someone (a dear friend, highly intelligent, and whom I greatly respect) who earned his PhD by writing a dissertation on third person impersonal pronouns no longer used in the modern Russian language. What is the point?
My father (who has his Masters) once said that BS, MS and PhD stood for bullshit, more shit and piled higher and deeper. Crass, I know, but in many ways I agree. (Well, it's unfortunate that this little joke only works with BS, etc., as I believe this only in regards to non-scientific fields. In science, I wholeheartedly believe that a PhD knows/learns far more than a BS.) Please bear in mind that I am in no way opposed to the pursuit of knowledge, and I truly hope that there never comes a day when I cease to learn new things. But so much of academia just seems so senseless to me, all this specialization to the point of incomprehension. Perhaps one day I will change my mind about this, but for now, I have decided that grad school is not the route for me.
So what is the route for me? I thought quite seriously about remaining in Russia for a second year. I love my job, my coworkers and my students... but financially, I simply can't. As I mentioned above, I paid off all of my debts (car, student loans, credit card) at my last job, and I accrued enough savings to finance my year abroad at a salary of $200/mo without again going into debt, but I simply can't afford to do it for a second year. True, I have enough credit that I could start charging expenses and plan to pay off my debts when I return to the US and get a "real job" - but that's one black hole I have no intention of falling down.
So instead, I thought about what it is about my current life in Russia that makes me happy. I surprised myself with the answer: for me, the best thing about my current situation in Russia is the lack of stress. True, occasionally I fret about things like what to do about my chronic failures, or how to turn the lyrics of I am a Rock into a ninety minute discussion, but I haven't suffered a moment of the gut-wrenching, muscle-clenching stress that I put up with for twenty-seven months in San Diego. Back in 2000, following my seven-month stint in St. Petersburg, I'm sure my answer would have been different. It would have involved the Russian people, or the Russian culture, or the amazing historical architecture, or even the Russian nightlife... not that I don’t still love the Russian people, architecture and culture (I'm a bit too old for nightclubs), but I've changed. I enjoy being here, but I no longer feel as tied to Russia as I once did. I guess that’s an odd thing to say, coming from someone who has been here, enjoying herself for the past six-plus months, but it's true. The best thing about my life in Russia is the lack of stress.
Thus, I arrived at goal number one: Remain in a low-stress situation. But other than low-stress, what else do I want out of life? I made a list of things that I enjoy doing:
So there you have it: the list of things I like to do. Then I decided to make the above list my life goals. Simple as that. You've read the list, so now you know you know what I want to do with my life. But how?
Well first, you might notice that among my list of things that are important to me, I have no desire to accumulate a large amount of wealth, to own an expensive home or a fancy car. I rarely buy new things; I'm perfectly content with clothes and furniture from yardsales and thrift stores. I know how to live frugally. Granted, I can't live completely without funds, but the funds I need don't have to be big. In fact, they can be pretty meager.
The stereotypical "American Dream" that, as an American, one hears about from an early age, is that in America, if a person works hard enough, he can achieve anything. In America, anyone can become whatever he wants to become, so long as he puts his mind to it. In reality, this American dream is simply code for "if you work really hard, then you can make a lot of money." Well, that's great. But do I really want to work myself to death for money? We've already determined that I don't want a lot of money.
How can a person live cheaply? Well, for starters, live somewhere that's inexpensive. I lived in San Diego where, at the time, the average price for a home was $500,000. I was renting a tiny studio apartment for over $700/month. Nearly all of the Southern Californians whom I met were resigned to the fact that they would never be able to pay off their homes. Houses in North Florida (where I grew up) are going for around $150,000 to $200,000 these days. This looks like quite an improvement over SoCal until you learn that my mom got her house in Southeastern Georgia for under $30,000. And goods (on average) are cheaper there too.
Yes, I have decided to relocate to a small town in Southeast Georgia. I've told this to a lot of people who have said things like, "But what will you do there?" and "Won't you be bored?" Look back at the list of things I like to do, people. Half of them I can do anywhere, and the other half, by definition, I can't do at home, no matter where "home" is.
I have decided to buy a home in Southeastern Georgia. I want to relax, to write, to grow squash and to simplify my life as much as possible. Mmmm… but how will I pay for this house? As inexpensive as I hope it will be when I find it, it will still have to be paid for. Well, by teaching ESL of course. True, I have already mentioned that my current ESL job, which I love very much, pays very, very little, but in many places around the world, ESL teachers earn substantially more. I have already lined up a position in South Korea, beginning in August, where I will make enough to put a sizable dent in paying-off-a-cheap-house in one year. (I've set my house-buying budget at a max of $39,900, and I'm certainly hoping to land something less than my max. My mother has agreed to be my lending agent for this venture.) The plan from there is simple: hermit for a while, tending my home and writing. Then, when I start to run out of subsistence funds or become stir-crazy, I will teach ESL somewhere. I would like to go to both China and Japan, as well as Greece, Northern Africa and South America. And I will. That's the plan.
Eventually, I expect that I will grow tired of traveling. At that point I will be perfectly willing to accept some sot of mundane job in Southeastern Georgia. We shall see…
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