Matiz, Konglishized

Sometime since the other day when I took photos of the green Matiz
in my neighborhood, the owners had it Konglishized.

I took the photo at night with my old camera, so it's not the best.
Here's what it says:

Demon Member
Deluxehon Introduce

V.I.P. hon is truly a worldwidedrand

renowned for itsbritish style and taste,it is

proud of its history and britishstyle and tate

it is proud of its history and itsplace

in british society

Minute Maid "With Pulpy"

A while back, I purchased some lemonade while out for a hot summer's day walk. It was Minute Maid brand, and bearing a rather amusing label:

Since that amusing discovery, I have also found Minute Maid's amusingly catchy corresponding TV ad campaign:

Make Your Own Konglish: A Tutorial

Whenever I post pictures of "konglish" - Korean misinterpretations, mis-spellings, and misuses of the English language - I inevitably get questions like "Why didn't they use a dictionary?" "Why didn't they just ask a native speaker?" and "Do you think this was made by someone who knew it was wrong and thought it would be funny?" Well, folks, the answer is that "they" (whoever they are) probably just ran some text through an electronic translator. I ran the text of my July 31st post, Rails to Parks, through two different online translators, translate.ru (for Russian) and bablylon (for Korean). I translated my text first into Russian or Korean (respectively), then back into English. The results sound remarkably Konglishy. They also sound a bit like what lazy students turn in for homework! Check 'em out:

from translate.ru:

Back in 2007 I has found out old station Banyawol. As I have mentioned before, Banyawol - the neighbourhood of Taegu in which I live. The station (and traces which it has once served) sat left, simple five-minute walk from school where I worked. (A new line trains and station about ten-minute immersing on the southeast have prevailed a place.) now, I have something like attachment to all things a train - to especially all things an old train - and I completely loved an environment of old station.

However, advanced in years that I have left Korea, development has overtaken sleepy Banyawol. The unused railway has been torn to, make the way for complexes of apartment and the planned visiting of shop and business services. Absolutely new complex of apartment Gven is entered, passing that once was old station Banyawol.

However, the station has not been destroyed, simply moved. About 15-minute walk to the south from its previous site (about five-minute walk from Electronic salesroom Banyawol) the new park has been created along an old bed of a rail. Old station - the main central part of park though the building is locked difficult and closed for visitors. I am excited that the station has been rescued, though the park definitely lacks in an environment of old station.

And from Babylon:

I was again in 2007 found an old Banyawol train station. In front of me, Banyawol in Daegu, near the. The train station, tracking service once sat abandoned only five minutes from the school where I worked. new railway station, about 0 minutes to dive into south-east, the place of. Now I was a little bit of all of his affection for the Train, especially in all the work on old Train -- and I entirely up to the atmosphere.

However, for many years, I left South Korea, development is Banyawol overtaken sleepy. The train that do not use the Line been torn away apartments and to the shopping and business plan. The new Gwen to enter apartment brand, while driving through the old Banyawol train station.

In the station, however, is not destroyed the Will Be before. If it takes about 15 minutes before the location (about 5 minutes walk from the Banyawol E-mart) new park, along with the old railroad went to sleep. Old Station of the core, even if the building is locked tight to visitors, and closed the door. I stored in the station, but was the park is the atmosphere lack the Old Station.

Funny English Grammar Textbook Titles

Funniest. Konglish. Ever.

In the intervening time between my previous trip to South Korea and my most recent arrival on the peninsula, many of the laws regarding foreigners coming here to teach English have been updated. One such update is the requirement that all foreign teachers undergo a health screening - essentially a giant smokescreen which does little to mask the real purpose: testing our urine for illegal drugs and our blood for HIV. And where were my cousin and I taken for our health screening? The Medical Condemnation department!

I'm back in the Deep South...

I spent the past week in upstate New York visiting my friend Youngmee and her family. It was a very laid back and totally awesome trip... we ate tons of Korean food (kimchi for breakfast, anyone?), went to a Korean Chinese restaurant (jiajianmyun!), took a belly dancing lesson (oh, how obvious it was that I hadn't done that since June 2006), ate really chocolatey stuff all the time, baked a pecan pie, watched Cheburashka, Vinni Pookh, and The Italian, AND she and her mom have gotten me hooked on Jumong, the most addictive TV show since Battlestar Galactica. Awesomeness.

It barely got above freezing once while I was there...


Look! Moosh and I are in non-Russian snow!


Can you find the Konglish? Are the shrimp frightened?


Youngmee baked a totally delicious pie.
I contributed the south GA pecans and my eating skills.

Fan Death warnings and other recent photos

Gwen and I assembled a fan the other day. The assembly instructions also included a bunch of amusing warnings, like this one about preventing fan death. What is fan death you ask? Well, wikipedia has an excellent article on this absurd belief, which you should definitely click here to read. Wikipedia describes fan death as an urban legend, yet Korean fan producers include warnings about fan death in the fan's packaging! I must say that if this were real, I'd have died years ago!

Watch out for Evil Fan Death!

Gwen's apartment has a great view!

If you zoom in, you can see
that train station that I found the other day.

More view from Gwen's

Really yummy Chinese food from the other day,
complete with carved radish flower!

Mia, atop Gwen's wardrobe, watches Songi warily!

My student Tammy wore an absurd Konglish shirt today.

Because no case is too sitiy or very winnobie
for Snoopy the Ahorncy!

The Gnashing of Teeth and the Cuteness of Mia

This isn't Konglish, just really bizarre:
And the kid who was wearing it had no idea what it said/meant.

Meanwhile, here's someone who would never gnash her teeth.

So cute and innocent!

For all your low quality, pseudo-Italian, particle-board furniture needs!

Crapino!

Not to be boorish or anything...

A new fried chicken restaurant recently opened in my neighborhood. Can you guess what international chain they stole their logo idea from?

Still not sure?

How about now?

There aren't any scantily clad women or anything - just chicken.

Some of my kids

The kids had a speaking contest today. My role in all of this was to play photographer. Here are my favorite shots. Enjoy!

Joe, Jack and Jackson listen.


Andy


Total Konglish shirt!


Melissa listens.


Melissa gives her speech.

Konglishism of the day:

Um, okay. Also, that "English" decal in the corner of the windshield
belongs to another neighborhood English school, pictured below.

For those of you who can't read hangeul, this school's name is Englishee Moo Moo (whatever that means)

Crazy Korean Fashions

My fatdogsport t-shirt with mini-hood...
and now with mini-skirt!

The thing is, this dress is seriously too risque for Korea -
If I were a Korean, I'd have to wear a shirt under or over it!

Picnic at the assylum anyone? ;-)

Another long-torso shirt.
It's so long I could almost wear it as a dress.

Yep, that's Frangeul people.
I wonder if it makes as much sense to French speakers
as Konglish makes to me?

Random Saturday Stuff

Today I went downtown for the sole purpose of purchasing a glittery green belt I talked myself out of buying last weekend. Between my house and the Yulha subway station is a fire hydrant to which an adorable and sweet (albeit quite stinky) little puppy is frequently chained. It is so friendly and just loves it when I pay attention to it. The dog belongs to the owner of the dry cleaner located behind the fire hydrant. I would seriously consider stealing this little guy if it weren't for Mia. And for the fact that as the only whitey in the neighborhood, it would be obvious who took it!

Isn't it adorable? At least it has food and water.


An underwear store downtown called Yes. The sign reads:Hey June!! Didn't you see my panty and brassiere?
Well... Is that yours? NO!
How about this one?
It's mine!! My underwear!!
Why don't go to yes? Yes? Yes!! Yes
Let's go to yes!!!!


Glittery green belty goodness.

This textbook was published in Korea.

One assumes they were going for potted plants.

Pink/Green/etc

I decided to wear my new shirt today, which then inspired me to take some absurd photos in my living room.



Koreans have long torsos.
I'm wearing low-rise jeans,
the top of which is located roughly at that pink arrow...
and the shirt keeps going and going...

My new pajama pants :-)

We were discussing family trees in one of my classes the other day.
I asked the students to draw their family trees -
one took the word "draw" literally and made
chariacatures of all her family members. I love this one!

Color me Konglish!

My favorite color is green. Preferably lime, but any shade will do. Green is followed by orange, followed by variations upon hot pink. I for one know what these colors look like. But then again, I speak English. Of course, I rather suspect my first graders would be able to determine the problem in my latest purchase:

A few gems from today...

The following are journal entries from my students.
The assignment was to imagine you met an alien...

"Yesterday at midnight I met scary alien. I afraid of alien because alien face dirty. Alien say at me "What's your name?" I don't answer. I hit alien of the head. Alien the die. I'm very happy. I keep the peace."

"Hi alien, nice to meet you. You are very thin. My friend is very fat. You are very fun. Your face why? You ride UFO, but we ride bike. You and I very different. You look so monster. Alien is very angry. Alien says hey, you and I fight? OK I say.... I win. Alien good bye. Alien ride UFO and go to a space."

The above is from a comparison between the US and Canada,
located in one of my textbooks:
"And Canada doesn't start wars like America does, either."

"The temple of god who is hot!!" and other amusements

I went downtown this afternoon for the purpose of buying Revolution, a heartworm preventative for cats. When I met Mia's first vet up in Seoul, he told me that he had applied Revolution to prevent heartworm, and that this drug should be applied periodically. While I thought the man was fantastic in general (not only was he a fantastic vet, but he was fluent in English and a hotty to boot!), I thought that giving a cat a heartworm preventative was going a little overboard. I thought, don't only dogs get heartworm? Then, two weeks ago when I brought Mia to her vet here in Daegu for the first time, one of the questions she asked me was whether or not Mia was on a heartworm prevention regimine, and if so, what medication. She also stressed the importance of keeping her heartworm prevention meds current. According to Mia's records, she was due for her next dose of Revolution (applied to the back of the neck in the same manner as Advantage) on December 30th, so I said I would come back then (today!) to pick up the medicine. Before going in, I googled cats and heartworm infections, and found out that while heartworms pose a greater threat to dogs, they still can infect - and kill - cats. Here's a pretty good article on the topic for you cat owners out there.

I continue to be impressed with my vet. While I had said that I would come in today, I had not scheduled a time. I entered the clinic, and the secretary immediately knew who I was, "Mia's owner"! The vet came down and talked to me, reminded me that Mia's due for her last injection next Saturday, and sold me my Revolution. She told me that unfortunately she has been unable to locate the brand of glucosamine which I have been giving to Mia; however, she said she will continue to look. (In the meanwhile, I have located the product online.)

After leaving the vet's office, I decided to walk to the center of downtown (about a 20 minute walk from the vet), where I did a little shopping and saw some things which amused me enough to photograph:

I know that 2007 is supposedly the Year of the Golden Pig and all...
...but I just don't understand how the Eiffel Tower fits in.


Close-up of the Golden Pig


The cute guy working at the Starbucks asked me if I wanted
"A lot, a lot, a lot of whipped cream" - I said yes. Yum!


There were several people in various places throughout downtown
holding bilingual "free hugs" signs. Weird.


"The temple of god who is hot!!"
This was on the window of a restaurant selling spicey Korean foods.


The cat's not out of the bag yet! :-)


I took this at work yesterday.
Gwen melted the school's new computer with a space heater.