At The London School, in honor of Valentine’s Day, we had a mailbox downstairs for valentines. Today, when the admin staff were going through the few valentines deposited within, they found one for me: a letter written in both English and Russian. I’m quite skeptical of this epistle, as it is unsigned and as it reads rather like a segment of Evgeny Onegin. I’m half convinced it’s a translation of a modified version of either Tatiana’s letter to Evgeny or vice versa, but as it’s been a good seven years since I last read Evgeny Onegin it might very well not be. I’m also slightly concerned that it might be from that creepy twik guy; while his English is nowhere near this good, he could very well have had help. Or an electronic translator. But as it is unsigned, it will remain a mystery. Anyway, the English version, complete with grammar and spelling errors for authenticity is as follows:
I write to the most charming girl on this world... Ah, what happiness that have this holiday. For the first time seems to me, I understand huge value of this holiday, because knowing that you beside I quail and can’t approach, and contrary to common sense, seeing you, at me language is braided and I lose gift of speech. Singing this letter I feel really worry and I feed hope, what perhaps you heart accept, my dreams devoid reason, perhaps in you the spark of hope for me (will small flame for me). But most likey to mine, unfortunately, having read, through will frown eyebrow and will throw my dreams in a garbage box, perhaps having read through indifference slightly only having raised spongos will smil. Only you such smil, from which since you here without mind. Jane, you are most charming, Jane you are most beautiful, Jane you are most attractive...
I write to the most charming girl on this world... Ah, what happiness that have this holiday. For the first time seems to me, I understand huge value of this holiday, because knowing that you beside I quail and can’t approach, and contrary to common sense, seeing you, at me language is braided and I lose gift of speech. Singing this letter I feel really worry and I feed hope, what perhaps you heart accept, my dreams devoid reason, perhaps in you the spark of hope for me (will small flame for me). But most likey to mine, unfortunately, having read, through will frown eyebrow and will throw my dreams in a garbage box, perhaps having read through indifference slightly only having raised spongos will smil. Only you such smil, from which since you here without mind. Jane, you are most charming, Jane you are most beautiful, Jane you are most attractive...
9 comments:
That's probably one of the best things I've ever read.
That's pretty awesome. I girl once gave me a box of frogs for Valentine's day.
I guess that doesn't quite compare, but it was memorable!
romantic!
I kind of think a lot of the mistranslation is sort of poetic. Garbage box? Language is braided? Works for me!
Even if it's ripped off, I think it is very sweet that someone would go to the trouble. I'm a fan of grand gestures from secret admirers.
I got nothing from my husband for Valentine's Day. I have to wait for White Day next month.
I love it too. I think that it is romantic.
Melissa
It kinda sounds like internet-translator-speak to me...
Anyway, did you ever figure out what the creepy twik guy was trying to say?
Don't try and pretend you aren't smitten.
I'd think it was fantastic if I weren't convinced that it's from the creepy (and thoroughly unattractive to boot) twik guy. And no, I never did figure out what he was trying to say. He's no longer my student, although now he sends me creepy text messages. *shiver*
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