Monday, November 19, 2007

Dispatches from the hood

Other than crazy naked Ronnie, I haven't had any problems since returning to the Waycross ghetto. This is most probably because the people next door (the drug dealing lesbian prostitutes who stole my electricity and my copper pipes, cut a hole in the wall of my house with a butcher knife and took a baseball bat to my mailbox) were evicted while I was in Korea. The people who live in that house now are a grandmother, a mother and her three kids. One kid is a baby, but the other two are probably around 6 and 8 and are really cute and like to talk to me about my cats. I actually hung out with them for about an hour yesterday. Sadly, it is really hard for me to understand them. They probably think I'm nuts because I keep asking them to repeat themselves.

The people in the house behind me moved in while I was in Korea. There is (or perhaps I should say was...) a man, woman and three kids there. There was also - at least while the weather was warm - a large group of somewhat "gangsta" looking dudes who were always hanging out on the porch. Additionally, they had a steady stream of cars coming through all the time, although none would stay more than a few minutes. Yeah, I totally have my suspicions about what it is they're up to! But the thing is, they were nice. They always talked to me (the main dude served in Korea in the army and knows about as much Korean as I do!). They borrowed a flashlight from me one day. It didn't have any batteries, but they put some in it, and let me keep the batteries when they gave it back. Nice, neighborly gesture, that. And they never caused me any problems.

Anyway, they have this ridiculous car that I really wish I had a picture of - I just don't want them to see me photographing it, you know? It's one of those 1980s Caprice types - white, dropped, on expensive rims, and with the most absurd paint job ever. It's all these really cool green designs, with Spearmint Gum logos and stuff. It also has something like Spearmint 22" painted on the side. Let's just say this car is easy to spot.

About ten this morning, my mom saw it on the side of the road, surrounded by cop cars, lights blazing. Around ten-thirty, I saw the wife and an older man I assumed to be her father frantically loading things/kids into the man's car before driving off, all while the kids cried. Tonight, the lights are off over there; no one is home.

I just hope the next tenants are as nice.

A couple of days ago, I went to Hot Toddy for some coffee, and got talking to a cop who was there. He apparently knew my mom, knew about the trouble she'd had when we first bought this house (see first paragraph!), and was involved in the raid on that house before they were evicted. He seemed very concerned about the fact that I live here. "You LIVE THERE? Aren't you scared?" Um, no. I told him that my current neighbors were all very nice; I did not share my suspicions. I'm to call him or 911 at any time if I have problems.

My mom brought some dude over to wire up my exhaust fan today. He was referred to her by someone she works with, although I'm not entirely sure I believe that he knows what he's doing. Anyway, this was a tall, tough looking black guy who totally *looked* like he could've fit in with the crew next door. He asked me if I was scared to live over here, because, "This neighborhood is where all the gangsters live!" Also, after having learned that I'd lived in Korea, he said, "They really like white women over there. Especially the Mexicans." Huh???

Also, Livia is in heat. She's got an appointment tomorrow morning to get spayed - thank the gods. I'm not sure I can handle one more day of her constant chirping and assuming the position. It's really freakin' creepy.

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